今日の単語
axis:軸、中心になるもの
Today, I want to talk about how I can no longer imagine myself not studying.
Right now, I use English at work, and I also study on my own. That means I spend more than thirteen hours a day in contact with English. When I think about it that way, the amount of time and energy I put into it feels very similar to how I used to pour myself into management.
Before, I was putting that time and energy into management. Now, it feels like that has been replaced by studying. That is how it feels to me.
When one thing becomes the center of your life, everything else starts adjusting around it. The way I do housework, the time I go to bed, and the way I spend my day all start to line up with that one thing. My whole life starts moving around that axis. And for me right now, that axis is studying.
So it does not feel like I am simply continuing a study habit. It feels more like studying is now sitting right in the middle of my life.
That also made me think that maybe the phrase “building a habit” does not fully fit me. Some people may be good at building habits naturally, little by little. But for people like me, who are not that skillful, it may be more accurate to say we create an environment that pushes us in that direction.
I am exactly that type of person. I tried keeping a diary many times, and it never lasted. But when I changed the environment itself in a serious way, those changes lasted for ten years or more.
So when I think about it, relying only on willpower is probably not the best way for me. It suits me much better to redesign my life in a way that makes continuation natural.
I think studying is probably the same. Instead of forcing myself to keep going, I need to make it part of a life where studying naturally belongs. Once it reaches that point, I do not have to keep asking myself whether I will do it or not. And I think that is where real strength comes from.
Right now, I feel like I am in the middle of shifting the time and energy I once gave to management into studying. That is why I can no longer imagine myself not studying.